Hares: Discoordination and Frosty
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Did you see the ‘wolf moon’ earlier in the week? Howls of delight for sure. 😊
We had better begin with our hares, Frosties and Discoordination, both renown for their sense of direction. Frosties has been known to get lost in a carpark; Disco. had a satnav for the long long journey to the Forest – he’d recce’d and then laid this trail here but on the way today still took two wrong turns [at least according to their passenger, Puffing Billy].Frosties’ outfit was immaculate, right down to some shiny new beige suede boots, just what you need for a Hash in the Forest in winter.Special note please re the signing in/out sheets: BlueSox, our tresh., [‘HashCash’ for the experts] loves criticism about the names/ lists etc. So much so that, last week, Centurian felt obliged to correct a spelling and had a spell cast immediately. He morphed into Centurizzzzn this week; watch out for further changes. Health warning: do not upset BS [and I should know!]
At the Circle, Wanda the Wicked RA called out Mandy, our virgin, and two seriously old gits for birthdays – so incredibly old that they have more years than runs. She did invite them to drink from the hairy cup and one was brave enough to do so.
And it was ‘On on,’ that way; Disco clearly signalled across the road and we did. Liar, liar, nose is on fire!! Back across said road for the first of many pixie loops, many with pixie dust. The Mini headed off to the right so why not follow them?
Check; track clearly led down to the first of many quagmires; only when they had crossed did they find the bar. Back through the quagmire. Ever onwards. . . . The Mini had headed off down the proper trail with a path and a bridge to cross the shiggy. Disco nearly cried at this point: his carefully laid Fish-hook for 11 [yes, eleven!] had been kicked out. Obviously the locals objected to the strange signs – he later overheard Dirty Squealer coughing to this heinous offence – she had been at the front!
After a bit Spotted Dick called a Regroup close to an old railway bridge and shot the latecomers with his camera. There had been whisperings between Disco and SD re dust seen under the bridge. On on where? Wurzel decided that the trail lay under the bridge and waded through the beck to lead the way.
Dust was spotted down to the left and the entire pack headed off, now ahead of W. A wise few stuck with the hare. He didn’t actually cover up the dust, merely left it for us to find. A serious ‘On back’ as, yet again, we headed up the narrowest of deer tracks through the heather. Disco sounded positively upset when the FRBs found an unmarked right turn. On up, on across and on down – this hare has a water habit. We had another series of checks and minimal dust to mislead us across streams, back across streams, across more streams. . . . Some walkers looked on in incredulous amazement. Who were these idiots running through the puddles and splashing each other in the middle of winter?
Ferret earned his ‘mention in despatches’ – he ran incredibly fast on the Out, so fast in fact, that he disappeared from view and wasn’t seen in the second half of the run. Rumours that he wimped out are without foundation and utterly scandalous.
A picturesque tree provided the nest Regroup; the hare was heard to mutter about there being an even better one 50m further on; the FRBs overhead and headed off in the right direction for once. Not long afterwards came the most evil of fish-hooks – 12!
Despite the libellous accusations against the hares, the Main was a brilliantly laid trail, lots of good clear dust – if you could find it.
After so many miles one expects a genteel run in so why, suddenly, did Disco suddenly start sprinting to the front of the pack? Ask PB, Lonely, Stalker and Turned On. Yes, Disco was checking on the final fish-hook. Literally within sight of the carpark, there it was. Stalker tried to cover it up by lying on it; no, no and no again. This one was for four only; as the prophet says, ‘The first shall be last,’ and they were.
And what did become of ‘Frosties in Boots,’ the Mini hare? Well, she did lead, on, out and back, all of a mile and a half so that some had to do a second lap and a breakaway group, Centurion, BlueSox, Mouse and co. set off on their own.
All I can say is that, at the end, her beige suede boots remained immaculate. Ver gurl dun good.
Then there was a sudden miniature commotion at the signing in desk. Wanda was putting on her outfit and the obvious question was as to why she was putting her knickers on outside her tights. Obvious, to show off the special waxing job that she had had done. Only then did she deal with the sinners:
· Lonely and PB were called out for trying to miss the final fish-hook,
· A ‘sporty’ theme was identified,
o Shitzoo was identified for her golfing skills, she ‘found’ a ball and retrieved it,
o Tally Ho for general exuberance in racing down a hill and splashing through the mire,
o Dirty Squealer for coarse fishing – deleting a fish-hook, and,
o G-String for hurtling across the heather tossing his caber as he went [did I hear that right?]
· Jo for running with full mountain rescue kit, and finally,
· What old experienced hasher gets caught for not signing in? Ask Snorkel.
On On!