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Rivo’s Hub, 9 Allens Ln, Hamworthy, Poole BH16 5DA

It’s Sunday and it’s 11:00am; where are we? Oh yes, Rivo’s Hub, a Hamworthy meeting place for bikers and petrol-heads with money to burn on seriously flash machinery. Oh and there were one or two hashers, in fact, some 80 or so. Whilst gathering, Lemon and Wurzel were about to snog when LT spotted a hungry caterpillar on his shoulder and fell back in shock. Said creepy crawly was safely deposited on the grass.
With such a large gathering, getting a circle at the start was a bit like herding cats, wrong side of impossible. That said, our Religious Advisor took control in her own imitable style. Wanda the Wicca Witch appeared complete with horns and called out the sacrificial virgins, lots and lots. With visitors there were 8 lost souls to be taken out, got muddy and brought back.
Today hares, Burning Bush, Dusty Bitch and Dirty Stopout were well instructed by Chunky and have developed the right sense of humour when laying a trial [typo, but this trail was a …..].
“On on” they said and we did. Out of the industrial estate, up a bank and along the high path. Various down options were available and eventually we did drop. Our hares had arranged the first paddle: the trail was clearly marked across a little beck, just too wide to jump so in it was. Wurzel was ‘splash baby’ today and made sure that the unwary had their bodies but not enthusiasm well dampened. The wise and wary hashers, 25% or so, smelled a rat and kept their feet dry. Sure enough, after only 50m along the far side they had to cross back to rejoin the wiser runners. We were in Upton Country Park and regrouped at a labelled chair – see photos. Here, a late-comer, Cream Crackered, was head to say, “Shall I go down?” Four hashers were injured in the rush to take her up on this offer.
And so to the second stream, this one had the benefit of stepping stones but these were just out of reach from our side and anyway wet and slippery. The river it was, more water baby stuff. An old wise and cynical hasher, DM, paused and looked. There was a proper path and proper paths lead to bridges; he led Doggy Style and Blow Job to the path of the righteously dry. BB was less than impressed when she found out.
And so to the delight of the day: Pierced Nipple had kindly arranged a beer/ mulled wine/ Stollen stop at #31 – major thx for this. Here we discovered that Beep Beep had gone awol so that duty runners were despatched to find him. In fact, Wiggy had seen him and kept him safe and sound with the Mini.
The Main went on to a third river crossing, again just too wide to jump so paddle it was for everyone. DS’s and BJ’s tootsies got dampened but where was DM? He’d found a sneaky yet again, still had dry feet. The style award went to Dangleberry: as he ran under the A35 bridges, he was seen drinking his third beer, cool or what?
Hornblower took full advantage of the concrete tunnels under the A35: the bugle’s echo was amazing. Thence to Upton Heath with the pack going up the usual track towards the old railway line. ‘On Back’ yet again, across the shiggy that is the Heath, back across the pedestrian bridge to the housing estate and along the back paths to base. Here, BB showed the in-depth training she had received: she out-ran the FRBs and put in an impromptu fish-hook to catch the first four – that’ll learn them!
And so to DownDowns:
DM was not the only ‘Dry Foot’ offender, Blow Up Doll was similarly arraigned. And that wisest of hares, Chunky, outfoxed DM with ‘Old McDonald had a whale’ – at the word ‘whale’ the pre-arranged cups of water were flung at the two criminals – that’ll teach them to be smart arses.
Obviously CC got hers for the going down; in similar vein Miss Whippy’s, “I’m coming,” earned a beer.
Lonely had been heard to say that the good thing about being soaked in the streams was that he could go for a pee without anyone noticing, earning “Here’s to the incontinent”.
Shitzoo earned hers, “Child abuse,” for losing BB and little Daisy for leading her aged parentals around the Main. She had also told Chunky how to hare and where to go so that the DownDown, ‘Miss Bossy’ just may stick.
Navigator celebrated his birthday and Israeli Commando 300 runs.
LT lifted her phone to take a photo and forgot that she was also holding a drink which she promptly spilled down her front. Cue the last DownDown.