#2211 – The Sandford Pub
Late December, Chrimbo approaching, must be the Santa Run!! And so it was, see the most amazing photos. And the numbers, must have been 70-odd [very odd! 😊] people there, car-park was rammed. Us woz at the Sandford, Wareham way, led or misled by Blow Job and Dribbler as our ‘ares.
Our ‘regular’ RA, Sister ‘Airy Mary, was called away by god for other duties and instead we had serious promotion: Archangel Angelina no less, complete with halo and wings. She flew in to do the bizz., told us that her mate Gabriel was a bit busy with Christmas duties so that she was deputising.
Loadsavirgins today: Georgie [didn’t quite have the nerve to try a run but might do next week], Dan [harriettes, he’s tall, slim and chunky!] Suzy, Colleen and little Eden [of whom much more later]. They were duly blessed and Wurzel gave the rest of us the usual imprecation, ‘Take them out, get them muddy and bring them back.’
Archangel Angelina, AA to her friends, summoned the hares; BJ and D gave excellent instructions for the benefit of the newbies then ‘On On!’ Given that it was a main road, we were pointed south and some tried the track off beside the pub. Nope; cross the road and thence to the very southern part of Wareham Forest. Drivers were so amazed at the outfits that they stopped in their tracks to let us cross.
Dust today was premier quality – future hares take note, please. Big lumps of bright fresh sawdust and regularly spaced. Grocer and associates, this is the way to lay a trail, not your usual 500m+ gaps.
So ‘to the woods’ we went. Route was fairly simple, follow parallel to the road northwards, but. . . .
No fish-hooks today so we had to make do with regular re-groups. At the first of these, a passing walker was so amazed at all the Fr. Christmas outfits that he photographed us. And all praise to Eden: this little girl was doing the Main at her first attempt – look her out in the photos.
A mile in and we hit shiggy, funny amusing shiggy especially for the lucky few who thought that the puddles were ankle deep and found themselves stopped in their tracks down to, or is it up to, their hips in the mire, Beep Beep to name but one. The rest of us looked on and laughed. We continued northwards.
After the second re-group it was ‘On left’ through the gate into the Forest proper and a long winding loop through the trees. The hills here are not high but they are steep: we hit the first of these and for some, it was a scramble on hands and knees. Eventually we made it to the wide open space that is the middle of this part of Wareham Forest. Third re-group did not quite go to plan: some were so far ahead that they picked a later point to await us laggards. This bit was fine, long open flat track, ideal for the fast runners: Circus Boy, BB et al. were in their element. Then off left: more of those short cursive hills [cursive because most were cursing by the time they got to the top]. We tracked through the woods to a vicious little run down then equally steep up to the exit gate; here, Spotted Dick showed Tally Ho how to get down these steep bits quickly: a sort of skip, but you stop momentarily at each double-step. He will happily demo for anyone who wants. A longer re-group here: rumour control had told us that Sylvie had twisted her ankle quite badly and Archangel Angelina was not on hand to give her a ride in the sky so she had to make do with not one but two piggy-backs from Fukawe. He struggled on but then had to pass the baton [i.e., Sylvie] first to Spotted Dick then Disco-ordinated for the downhill then Chilli Nuts took over for the final leg along the road. Well done those men!! The rest of us went through said gate then right, a sort of ski-track with gentle lefts and rights downhill exiting at the housing estate to the bemusement of a chap washing his car. We were back, ‘On Inn’ and down the road to the pub.
As to DownDowns, AA found the following sinners:
• Turned On, BB and Chilli Nuts all went depth-testing the water/shiggy
• Sylvie, MachuPicchu for twisting her ankle and generally knackering the men who carried her,
• Fukawe for carrying MP and passing her to SD [the RA objected to ‘her’ man being knacked just before Xmas!]
• Under-developed’s beard: had Rudolph come on his face? He then assailed the RA with said facial fungus!
Then there was Secret Santa – Gross Herr/ Grocer/ Taliban Tommy. His other half, Mamma Cass will examine his lap carefully after all those strange men sat on it to get their prezzies. Not sure what was going on with Banger, but somehow he was mad keen to get his own prezzie back from Santa. What was so incredibly good or bad that he had to rescue it?
The WHAT THREE WORDS will either be on the right (on a PC), or down below (on a mobile)