2210 wessex hash house harriers

#2210 – Rockford Common

4.72 miles, 583ft climb, 1hr40mins.

Rockford Common (Warmers.resold.factored)

Hares Snorkel, Fish Fingers, Hairy G-String.

‘No pub today, the beer has gone away’ – meet was in the Rockford Common Car Park, Ellingham Drove, just up from the Alice Lisle, by the sand-pit, more of that later.
We began with the ‘in Memoriam to Mr Beaky who passed to the Great Hash Above on Friday night: we drank a toast in his tipple, rum, and remembered the passing of one of the real characters of WH3. For those who didn’t know him, his trails were marked by a sense of humour and very very occasional dust; he was known to go on a false trail, call ‘On on,’ conceal the bar and get everyone well past it before calling them back. He was our GM from c.2006 to c.2012; we remember him with much affection.
Our Religious Advisor today was Sister Hairy Mary, let out especially for the day from the Convent of Remington Steele.
She graciously allowed the WM, Wurzel, to do the Birthdays, two today for goodly numbers of runs, one was Spotted Dick and your scribe has to apologise to the other as he can’t remember the name.
Hairy Mary then pounced. A new trainer had made its way into her sacred bag so that a Cindrella-style fitting had to be done to determine whose it was. DeathMarch was tried, his feet were too big; Snorkel’s were too small, then surprise surprise, they were a perfect fit for Wurzel! Lucky Wurzel had a toast in rum from said trainer, which now smells oh so much better.
On to the hares: Fish Finger, Snorkel and the new boy in town, Hairy G String. Snorkel told us that the trail was in honour of Mr. Beaky so to expect it to be laid and run in that manner i.e., a serious sense of humour failure for anyone with an attitude problem.
The RA blessed the trail in her best Druid-English,
“Maydogs not biteus,
May coppus not catchus,
May coitus not interruptus” and then sent us on our way.
Oh yes, back to the sand-pit. Having circled, we found the blob at the base of said sand-pit so the route was clear. The Main hashers set off; slow runners wanted to be up the slope with the quickies so they too started off. Only when the majority were at/ very close to the top did the hares laugh and call, ‘On back!’ The Beaky trail had started.
Up the track we went, then down to the left; after various falsies, the trail was discovered and led us straight back to 10m from where we were. Mr. Beaky:2, WH3:0 and we hadn’t done half a mile. Another check; another Wrong Direction and eventually a long loop to the right then. . . .back to the same track. The England Girls’ footie team thrashed Estonia 20:0 last month; was the ghost of Mr. B. going to do the same to us?
Hairy G had been well instructed in the black arts of evil haring by the maestro, Snorkel. S. himself was conveniently absent, leading the Mini, a first for him, leaving us at the mercy of FF and HGS. So on we go, another blob masquerading as a check and the pack go off down the hill. By now the back-markers, Ratarsed, DM, BJ and a few others were keeping an eagle eye on the hare. When HGS followed down the hill that was clearly the route and off they all went. HGS was honest enough to mutter, ‘Some time shortly the FRBs are going to be cursing me.’ Those who heard paused; sure enough, at the bottom, he called them back and we all had a climb to the right trail. Ever onwards and upwards, or rather downwards to the Pond. HGS pointed to the island, Fantasy Island or Love Island? A significant number splashed through the frigid waters to be photographed there. One brave soul, Jimmy, swung off a branch and dropped into the deep end. He was heard singing an octave higher when he emerged, ‘soprano castrato’ or what? We completed the loop and yes, emerged at the sand-pit with an easy scamper down to the car park.
And so to the DownDowns:
• Banger was seen skip-raiding.
• Leg Over had bandaged elbows – had she been living up to her name and got carpet burns?
• Semen was alleged on the soft-top roof of Snorkel’s car; the RA blamed Hornblower.
• Jimmy, having cooled his vital bits, was named, obviously, ‘Chilli Nuts’. He is teamed up with Burning Bush – with names like that, a relationship made in heaven.
• Last week, Karen had gone into the Ladies and meticulously applied the war-paint as though she was going to the Bar rather than on a hash: she is now Barbarella.
• Danglebury and partner were congratulated: still pissed from last night, they paid for a taxi from Bournemouth just to be here.
So, alleged 4.5m though most did 6, excellent weather and a fun trail.
We look forward to Blow Job and his good lady, Dribbler, misleading us next week from the Sandford Pub, Wareham, BH20 7AE, ///rots.spot.perused.

Rockford Common Car Park Ellingham Drove, Ringwood, New Forest, Hampshire BH24 3NF

The WHAT THREE WORDS will either be on the right (on a PC), or down below (on a mobile)

More details to follow


Dec 12 2021


10:45 am - 1:00 pm




Rockford Common
Ellingham Drove, Ringwood, BH24 3NF


Snorkel & Fish Fingers & Hairy G String